Another year...

Its a fresh year, new hopes and dreams...

I must admit I am surprised to see the level of ignorance that exist among the sexually active and curious sections of our society regarding the sexual minorities. If only we could do away with the prejudices...

Here is wishing all a very happy New Year and a great future....

The changing scenario...

The ball set in motion by the Delhi High Court verdict is slowly gathering momentum. With the Government of India opting not to challenge the verdict in the Supreme Court, it appears that homosexuality is finally going to be de-criminsalised in this country. It is a small step in the fight against prejdice and social stigma that haunts sexual minorities in India.

A slightly more inclusive and sympathetic approach is evident among the media and the Hindustan Times advertisement is a laudable effort in this regard. Such subtle but powerful nuances shown in national television can definitely help our cause(the same is true for negatove campaigns like TVS ad as well). It will take years and may be decades for us to be able to come out and live with dignity in our own villages in different parts of India. Yet, the hope that things are changing for the better is a great promise for our future.

Here is wishing the gay community(of which I am also a member) all the very best..

A busy monsoon...

We had great monsoon for the better part of last one month. The rain lashing down havily, flooding the roads, causing havoc and wide spread illness(fever of the worst kind is an epidemic at Kozhikode now), cool, dark cloudy days and thunderous nights..

The gay scene has had a much needed reprieve with the Delhi High Court de-criminalising homosexuality and the Supreme Court endorsing the verdict. As usual majority of the politicians and the so called socio-religious leaders are totally clueless about the larger issues involved. The Indian Government is hoping that the Supreme Court ruling would give it a decent enough excuse to wash its hands off the matter. Anyway, I am delighted that a small milestone in a rather long and difficult journey promises hope for millions like myself.

Personally, I had a rather busy monsoon both in my gay life and the other life(yea..I do have a dual life to live, yet). Witnesssed a traumatic incident in which one guy sought to rob a gay of his money, threatening dire consequences since homosexuality is illegal(this happened two days before the Delhi High Court verdict).

I met a guy who hoped to be a life-partner and am still unable to decide whether we are suitable to each other or not. Hope I would be able to take the right decision soon...

Otherwise, so many contacts over the phone or chat. Sadly even now I come across guys who put up totally wrong details about themselves in their profile, especially regarding age, marital status, sexual preferences and even misusing other people's pictures as their own(I am not talking about using pictures avaiable in internet sites as a profile picture, but using those of one's real life friends and aquaintances without their knowledge).

It is indeed a difficlut jungle out there and a reasonably compatable partner is proving to be as elusive as ever...

I am still hopeful, because without hope there wont be anything to live for...

We too are humans

I have been disturbed by the new TVS scooty ads featuring Sania Mirza. No, it is not the glamourous Sania that caused some stir in me, it is the climax of that ad with one guy expressing such inhumane disgust towards an apparent suggestion at male to male contact. Really, the ad is so prejudiced and biased. The model in that ad has acted his part brilliantly and the pain is all the more acute for homosexuals like me.

It is time for the society to be a little bit tolerant towards the sexual minorities. Such ads and films that depict homosexuality in the worst possible light do great injustice to the brittle and bruised minds of those who are living a double life. We too are humans and we deserve every bit of respect and dignity as anyone else..

As for the gay scene, it has seen abundance in the number of chatters and telephonic daters. Also, I did meet someone recently. Last week I got the opportunity to have some fun with a guy and we utilised it to the fullest. It was great to have someone with me and we had a nice time together.

The expectations....

We come across a lot of like minded people in the dating sites. More often than not, people seemto have unrealistic expectations as far as a date or a partner is concerned. While it is natural to have idealistic views on the kind of partner one seeks, I think it is necessary to keep an open and flexible mind if you are to have any success in finding one.

So many people demand a picture upfront while they themselves does not have one to show. Often, people dont even reply after seeing one's picture. It is only basic manners to share your picture with a person who has already shown you his/her picture. When a person has trusted you enough to share his/her picture, you need to reciprocate in good spirits. Even if you don't like what you saw, it is rude and totally mean to not let the person know the same in kind but clear words. 

I am an average looking guy. My experience tells me that looks are not the most important factor to be considered, though it is a desireable bonus. What I seek is an honest, caring and confident person who is sure about his needs. One who can understand and accept what I am. Surely, this is the basis of any relationship. If a person can satisfy this, he would be the most handsome and dashing guy in the whole world for me.

The stereo types....

One of the things that I hate most is the prejudices and clichés prevalent even in the most modern and civilized societies. The stereotypes are a result of such deep rooted perceptions that may or may not be true, especially in a fast changing and innovative world.

Often, the minorities are the easy targets that provoke these strong, richly coloured stereo types. No, I am not talking about the eternal minorities(religious, caste and communally classified) in my country, but about the sexual minorities like myself. Over the years, gays, lesbians, trans-genders and other such groups have acquired a perception which can at best be described as disturbing. The homosexuals are widely perceived as people who have the body language of the opposite sex, who like to flaunt their sexual appetite and who harass the normal person(read as the hetero sexual), for money and sex. 

It is true that there are criminals and crooks among the homosexuals, just like those among the heterosexuals. There are as many anti-social elements among the community as there are in any other. The sexual minorities have a lot of challenges and problems to face as such. These include the HIV threat, the identity crisis, social stigma and so on...

The society would do well to do a reality check and be supportive. Especially in a democratic society that preaches equality and tolerance, this is the least one can expect...

 

Long time since posting..

It has been some time since I posted in this blog. 2009 has brought fresh hopes.

It brought some fun when I met some one last week. A nice guy with good manners. 

Hoping to meet the Mr.Perfect in 2009..

The nation is shocked and angry

As the nation slowly comes to terms with the aftermath of the Mumbai terror attacks, it is clear that the Indian public is fed up of the inefficiency of those who are supposed to be in charge of this country. Questions are being asked, politicians suddenly find themselves being openly chided like never before.

The nation has had to pay a heavy price for the follies of these self serving netas. It is time to make these clowns realise that we have given them all that they have today, and we could as easily take all back atleast once every five years. The all powerful Indira Gandhi learned this lesson in 1977 elections. It is time to remind the politicians about the power of democracy.

Breaking the Silence - Sexual Minorities Come Out in Kerala

I have been told that the event planned for 13th November at Kozhikode has been cancelled. It seems, there is an event happening at Bangaluru on 14th November.

Really disappointed about this. I do hope the event would be held sometime in the near future...

The plight of sexual minorities in Kerala...

13th November 2008 (Thursday), Calicut

Anything connected with sex is suppressed in Kerala. Morality has become an obsession with Kerala's societal attitude, cutting across the divides of class, gender, caste and religion. While in a majority of countries women can work and live as singles and contribute to social production, in Kerala, such people are largely isolated and kept aloof from the public sphere. The question of sexual rights occupies limited spaces of socio-political discourse in Kerala. The mainstream political parties here are yet to identify or acknowledge the politics of queer activism. 

We seem to have reached a point that no political movement can move ahead unless the conspiracy of silence about sexuality is broken. The politics of sexuality cannot wait till all the problems related with globalization and unemployment are solved forever. We need to talk about sexual rights as we do about any other fundamental rights.

Kerala is one of the very few states in India where the CPI(M) has been most active over the years. It would be interesting to juxtapose this with the fact that in September 2003, All India Democratic Women's Association (the women's fraction of CPI(M)) had sent a note to the Indian Govt. to scrap IPC 377. But one doesn't seem to have reached its own cadres in Kerala even after 5 years. 

Section 377 of IPC is challenged in the Delhi High Court and the final hearings are on now. Large scale sexual minority mobilizations took places in Bangalore, Mumbai, Delhi and Kolkata in the recent past demanding the repeal of IPC 377. This brought about enormous media coverage all over India but not in Kerala. While the Kerala Government is extremely keen reaching out to homosexual/bisexual men to use them for HIV prevention initiatives, one can clearly notice that there is absolute disregard for their human rights.

Hijras are visible and tolerated in most parts of India. Meanwhile, they are scared even to visit Kerala for a short-time. Most of the Keralite hijras migrate and live in Chennai, Bangalore, Mumbai and other parts of India. They are forced to present themselves in male attire when they visit their families in Kerala. 

Lesbians or gays or transgenders find it extremely difficult to have social space in Kerala. They are viewed as objects of curiosity and fun that attracts the media attention. There have been many an instances of lesbian suicides in Kerala over the years. The situation is such, that if they are to make a living, they would have to migrate to other states in India. The media mostly chooses to ignore such issues, preventing them from becoming a matter of public debate. Recent suicide of a gay couple in Ernakulam attracted very little media coverage. Most progressive groups in Kerala too ignored this.