The expectations....

We come across a lot of like minded people in the dating sites. More often than not, people seemto have unrealistic expectations as far as a date or a partner is concerned. While it is natural to have idealistic views on the kind of partner one seeks, I think it is necessary to keep an open and flexible mind if you are to have any success in finding one.

So many people demand a picture upfront while they themselves does not have one to show. Often, people dont even reply after seeing one's picture. It is only basic manners to share your picture with a person who has already shown you his/her picture. When a person has trusted you enough to share his/her picture, you need to reciprocate in good spirits. Even if you don't like what you saw, it is rude and totally mean to not let the person know the same in kind but clear words. 

I am an average looking guy. My experience tells me that looks are not the most important factor to be considered, though it is a desireable bonus. What I seek is an honest, caring and confident person who is sure about his needs. One who can understand and accept what I am. Surely, this is the basis of any relationship. If a person can satisfy this, he would be the most handsome and dashing guy in the whole world for me.

The stereo types....

One of the things that I hate most is the prejudices and clichés prevalent even in the most modern and civilized societies. The stereotypes are a result of such deep rooted perceptions that may or may not be true, especially in a fast changing and innovative world.

Often, the minorities are the easy targets that provoke these strong, richly coloured stereo types. No, I am not talking about the eternal minorities(religious, caste and communally classified) in my country, but about the sexual minorities like myself. Over the years, gays, lesbians, trans-genders and other such groups have acquired a perception which can at best be described as disturbing. The homosexuals are widely perceived as people who have the body language of the opposite sex, who like to flaunt their sexual appetite and who harass the normal person(read as the hetero sexual), for money and sex. 

It is true that there are criminals and crooks among the homosexuals, just like those among the heterosexuals. There are as many anti-social elements among the community as there are in any other. The sexual minorities have a lot of challenges and problems to face as such. These include the HIV threat, the identity crisis, social stigma and so on...

The society would do well to do a reality check and be supportive. Especially in a democratic society that preaches equality and tolerance, this is the least one can expect...

 

Long time since posting..

It has been some time since I posted in this blog. 2009 has brought fresh hopes.

It brought some fun when I met some one last week. A nice guy with good manners. 

Hoping to meet the Mr.Perfect in 2009..

The nation is shocked and angry

As the nation slowly comes to terms with the aftermath of the Mumbai terror attacks, it is clear that the Indian public is fed up of the inefficiency of those who are supposed to be in charge of this country. Questions are being asked, politicians suddenly find themselves being openly chided like never before.

The nation has had to pay a heavy price for the follies of these self serving netas. It is time to make these clowns realise that we have given them all that they have today, and we could as easily take all back atleast once every five years. The all powerful Indira Gandhi learned this lesson in 1977 elections. It is time to remind the politicians about the power of democracy.

Breaking the Silence - Sexual Minorities Come Out in Kerala

I have been told that the event planned for 13th November at Kozhikode has been cancelled. It seems, there is an event happening at Bangaluru on 14th November.

Really disappointed about this. I do hope the event would be held sometime in the near future...

The plight of sexual minorities in Kerala...

13th November 2008 (Thursday), Calicut

Anything connected with sex is suppressed in Kerala. Morality has become an obsession with Kerala's societal attitude, cutting across the divides of class, gender, caste and religion. While in a majority of countries women can work and live as singles and contribute to social production, in Kerala, such people are largely isolated and kept aloof from the public sphere. The question of sexual rights occupies limited spaces of socio-political discourse in Kerala. The mainstream political parties here are yet to identify or acknowledge the politics of queer activism. 

We seem to have reached a point that no political movement can move ahead unless the conspiracy of silence about sexuality is broken. The politics of sexuality cannot wait till all the problems related with globalization and unemployment are solved forever. We need to talk about sexual rights as we do about any other fundamental rights.

Kerala is one of the very few states in India where the CPI(M) has been most active over the years. It would be interesting to juxtapose this with the fact that in September 2003, All India Democratic Women's Association (the women's fraction of CPI(M)) had sent a note to the Indian Govt. to scrap IPC 377. But one doesn't seem to have reached its own cadres in Kerala even after 5 years. 

Section 377 of IPC is challenged in the Delhi High Court and the final hearings are on now. Large scale sexual minority mobilizations took places in Bangalore, Mumbai, Delhi and Kolkata in the recent past demanding the repeal of IPC 377. This brought about enormous media coverage all over India but not in Kerala. While the Kerala Government is extremely keen reaching out to homosexual/bisexual men to use them for HIV prevention initiatives, one can clearly notice that there is absolute disregard for their human rights.

Hijras are visible and tolerated in most parts of India. Meanwhile, they are scared even to visit Kerala for a short-time. Most of the Keralite hijras migrate and live in Chennai, Bangalore, Mumbai and other parts of India. They are forced to present themselves in male attire when they visit their families in Kerala. 

Lesbians or gays or transgenders find it extremely difficult to have social space in Kerala. They are viewed as objects of curiosity and fun that attracts the media attention. There have been many an instances of lesbian suicides in Kerala over the years. The situation is such, that if they are to make a living, they would have to migrate to other states in India. The media mostly chooses to ignore such issues, preventing them from becoming a matter of public debate. Recent suicide of a gay couple in Ernakulam attracted very little media coverage. Most progressive groups in Kerala too ignored this.

PM skips gay issue, leaves it to Ramadoss, Patil

Fri, Oct 17 02:23 AM

Avoiding any judgmental call on the conflict over orthodoxy and liberalism, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Thursday asked health minister A Ramadoss and home minister Shivraj Patil to sit together and sort out the issue over legalising homosexuality.

''The Prime Minister has directed the two ministers to sit together and discuss the matter and sort out differences,'' science and technology minister Kapil Sibal told reporters after the cabinet meeting.

The contentious subject has developed into a major controversy after health minister Ramadoss, a qualified doctor himself, sought legalisation of homosexuality arguing that it can help in better treatment of people suffering from HIV/AIDs. Ramadoss' latest campaign, however, has encountered strong opposition from the Union home ministry, which holds the traditional view that gay sex is immoral. In the same vein, the Indian Penal Code (IPC) under Section 377 bans sexual relations among people of the same gender and carries a punishment of upto life imprisonment for such acts.

The matter came up before the Union cabinet in the backdrop of the Delhi high court pulling up the Centre on Wednesday while hearing a Public Interest Litigation (PIL) that has challenged the legality of Section 377. While responding to the court's queries, the additional solicitor general PP Malhotra had cited religious texts to justify the prohibition of gay sex in the country.

Ticking off the government counsel for relying on religious texts, the court had asked it to come up with scientific reports instead in justification of the ban.

The court maintained that India would not be the first country to decriminalise homosexuality in that case that it did. ''Your arguments should be based on scientific reports. Show us scientific reports which justify criminalisation of such acts,'' the division bench comprising chief Justice AP Shah and Justice S Muralidhar had said on Wednesday.

The government, however, faces a paradoxical situation as the National Aids Control Organisation has already filed an affidavit on behalf of the Union health ministry which holds that sex among consenting adults belonging to the same gender should be decriminalised. The dilemma before the government was further evident when Kapil Sibal told reporters that it would abide by any court decision on the issue. ''Whatever the court decides, we will agree'' he said. He said the cabinet deferred a decision on the issue as it was already being argued before the court.

Ramadoss, who successfully led the campaign against smoking and was instrumental in laying severe restrictions over smoking in public, had said that he would take up the issue of legalising homosexuality with the Prime Minister after his ministry was ticked off by the home ministry in the courts.

Claiming support from ''progressive'' ministers in the Union cabinet, Ramadoss has proposed abolishing of the penal provision on those found indulging in gay sex.

There has been varying views on the subject, with some like NHRC chief S Rajendra Babu supporting the decriminalisation of homosexuality.

Show scientific proof to ban homosexuality: court

Wed, Oct 15 07:47 PM

New Delhi, Oct 15 (IANS) The Delhi High Court Wednesday pulled up the government for using inadequate evidence to oppose decriminalisation of gay sex in private among consenting adults.

Additional Solicitor General P.P. Malhotra, while arguing before a division bench headed by Chief Justice Ajit Prakash Shah and Justice S. Muralidhar, cited a verse of the Bible condemning gay sex.

But the court did not seem to be convinced by the government's contention and asked it to produce scientific evidence to justify the ban on homosexuality.

'Show us some scientific report which says that gay sex should be criminalised,' the bench observed.

The court also asked the government to place before it the reports of the World Health Organisation (WHO) on the issue of health hazards arising out of criminalisation of gay sex.

'We are not taking it (religious literature). We will be going by your report submitted by NACO (National Aids Control Organisation). We would rely on that report. You can counter it by some scientific report,' the bench said.

The central government had previously argued during the case that repealing Section 377 would allow HIV/AIDS to spread, and that homosexuality is a reflection of a 'perverse mind'.

'We cannot compel our society to follow the trend of western society. There is no concept of sexual orientation in the Indian constitution,' Malhotra said.

The Indian Penal Code terms homosexual acts as an offence under section 377, which provides for punishment up to life imprisonment.

The government had earlier taken a contradictory stand, with the home ministry favouring section 377 and the health ministry opposing its enforcement in the case of consenting adults.

The court was hearing a petition filed by 13 NGOs, including Naz Foundation, seeking the court's direction to decriminalise homosexual acts among consenting adults by amending Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code.

the Indian government wants to keep Article 377

the central government has submitted to the court that it wants to keep the article 377 intact. This is the article which prohibits any form of unnatural sexual activity, the one that makes homo sex a crime.

very sad that the the world's largest democracy has a government that wishes to regulate what happens in the bedrooms of the citizens. this administration has proved grossly inefficient in dealing with the problems faced by the common man. it would do well to get focus on providing some semblance of governance.

the fun...

last week i met a likeminded person. hewas eighteen and we had quite a good session of mutual fun.